Monday, 10 September 2012

100th Post-iversary - Little sparks

This is my 100th post on SunnySideUp!  I have wanted to write it for a while and celebrate it as the massive milestone it feels like, but nothing seemed worthy enough to write about...Until five days ago that is.

After two years (almost to the day) of tears, trials, medications, calendar counting and a whole lot of hoping, we finally feel like we have hit a milestone in our attempts to get pregnant and start our family.  After two years of trying everything we could, and everything that was thrown at us, we had 10 little frozen embryos and a date for our first transfer.  

Getting a date alone was a big deal for us.  This cycle got off to a very rocky start.  I had multiple scans to check uterine lining, and at the end of every one the amount of stimulant medication, Progynova, I was taking was increased.  We finally got to the desired 8mm thickness on Day 15 of the cycle and was commenced on Crinone twice a day to ensure that the progress we'd made didn't melt away.  Our transfer date was set for five days later, on Day 20.

I don't really know what we were expecting for transfer day.  I'm not sure what other people have envisioned their transfers would be like either.  But ours was nothing like the movie that played out in my dreams the night before.  We arrived at the IVF clinic at lunch time and were taken in the consult room by a lovely lady named Rhiannon.  She turned out to be our Embryologist.  She sat us down and went through the process of how it'd all work.  We signed more release forms about the risks of multiple pregnancy, infections, negative pregnancy tests, etc.  And then she slid an envelope across the table.  "These are your embryos" she explained.  "You can open it now and have a look, or you can save it til later when you're alone."  Hubby reached for envelope without a second thought and pulled out two photographs.  OUR embryos.  Two little balls of cells, so different from each other, and yet so alike and so precious.  As Hubby sat mesmorised by the photos, I was mesmorised by him.  A look of such calm, such pride, such love came over his face.  Before I could hold them back, the tears began to fall.  Here they were!  Finally our little ones are coming home with us today.  

Soon after, we were led into a softly lit room with the procedure bed.  I undressed and wrapped myself in the drape and climbed into the familiar chair.  The room was warm, and there was music in the background.  It felt nothing like the cold clinic I'd expected.  As I looked up I could see two large flat screens hanging from either wall.  There was an ultrasound machine beside me.  Hubby held my hand as Rhiannon and our doc came in through to modesty curtain to make sure I was settled.  They would be making sure our embryos made it to the warmest, squishiest part of my uterus.  Another nurse, Kate, would hold the ultrasound over my belly so we could watch as the catheter went in first, followed by the syringe holding our little ones.  

It really was quite amazing.  Each little embryo emitted its own little sparks of light as they flitted off the end of the syringe into my uterus.  And there, on the big screen overhead, we saw our embryos float side-by-side inside me.  I turned and looked over at Hubby, who had my hand firmly in his, his eyes glued to the screen and his mouth open in awe.  Kate quickly printed off an ultrasound picture of the little sparks before they faded into the dark uterine wall.  Later, in the car on the way home, we hugged our photos to our chests and said a very big prayer.  The rest now, is up them.

Two days later we set of to the coast for a bit of wedding anniversary beach side luxury.  A perfect way to try and take our minds of the next two excruciating weeks of waiting until we can do a pregnancy test.

In the meantime, I will be logging off SunnySideUp for just a wee while.  I have decided that in order to preserve whatever time we have waiting for these little embryos to make up their minds, I must focus all my time, attention and love on my family.  I will be back though, with whatever news the next few months may bring us.

I want to thank you all for your support, for your prayers, and for your kind words.  You have brought brightness to our dark days, and shared in our good.  You are all in our thoughts as well. And I wish you every success for where ever you are on your own paths to parenthood. 

Thank you, always,

Sunny xx  




  1. Tears, and hope and prayers! I read this holding my breath and remember all too clearly those days we went through the same thing. I still carry my embryo pictures in my wallet- the very first pictures of my babies. And I pray more than you know for you both every day. It has been a blessing to have been included in your journey and I hope you know we will be here for life. Blessings and love to you both. Xx

  2. What an amazing experience. Much love to you and prayers as you wait.

  3. So lovely. Good luck and enjoy the time you can. We're pulling for you and the embies and can't wait for the results of this most anticipated transfer.

  4. So wonderful, Sunny. I hope those little sparks turn into very active little ones that remind you of that moment in that dimly lit room every time their eyes catch the light. Sending positive thoughts and prayers to you and all of your family!

  5. Hope all is going well, Sunny
    Have recently discovered your blog and can't wait for an update. praying it's good news.